This just in from Michael Sullivan, Assistant Patrol Leader, Rabbit Hill Snow Resort.
Things I Put in My Thermos, with Application to Ski Patrollers and Other Mountain Snow Rats
With COVID, we can’t hang out in the patrol huts. Gone are the halcyon days of drinking vast quantities of bad ski hill coffee, laced with overly-sweet “French Latte Vanilla Toffee” flavoured hot chocolate. I’ve already lost 5 pounds, will probably avoid tooth decay, and likely live longer, too. Geez…how to halt this shocking decline?!
One strategy; sit on the edge of a ski run during my 10-2’s (radio speak for Patroller’s tea-time / pee-time break) and sip exotic brews from my collection of battered Thermoses! This opens a plethora of options; what is hot, flavourful, provides energy and jazz, yet is legal and fits into a Thermos? My list of experimentations is thusly provided.
Vietnamese Coffee
My go-to for hard mountaineering days. I luv the little instant packets filled with sugar, some-sort-of-chemical-cream-dust, and dried coffee. You can get them at all decent Asian groceries, in the wonderfully vast sea-of-tea aisles. Two packets in a 500 ml Thermos energizes me for hours of climbing, dragging sleds, and hauling packs. Perfect for a busy ski patrol day on the bendy-knee skis; “Half-the-binding, twice-the-fun!”, “Free the heels, free the mind”, “Your girlfriend cares that I telemark”, and so on.
I think the SE Asian coffee makers envisioned these coffee packets as iced Vietnamese Coffee, which does eventually happen in my battered Thermos after 5 hours. Highly unlikely that these were ever intended as a hot drink for skiers, and why would they even try? Vietnam does have real mountains, the Annamite Range along the border with Laos. Made famous as the matériel transport corridor for the Viet Cong during the American War. But definitely not a ski destination, and hence will remain as least common bumper sticker on Thule Roof-Rack Boxes; “I skied the Ho Chi Minh Trail”.
Spicy Chai
My COVID-era favorite. I’ve made Chai with regular chai tea bags, double spicy tea bags, double strength double spicy tea bags, and even “Everest Brand Tea Masala”, which appears to be crushed hot pepper, cardamom, and gunpowder. Add a pile of sugar and heavy cream, and await the calorie buzz.
The biggest find in my ongoing Chai exploration front was Instant Spicy Chai; little packets of sugar, petroleum-oily-cream powder and amazing spice mixes. Only to be found in those awesome East Indian grocery stores where weird vegetables spill from broken cardboard boxes, and the smell of 238 different spices mixes with some spooky hair product chemicals. Smells like Heaven! I could wander those aisles all day. “Cardamom Spicy Chai” is my latest crush. But, really, any chai-related product with the words “Himalaya”, “Nepal”, or pictures of anything remotely resembling Annapurna or K2 is, obviously, impossible to resist. My cupboard is full of dusty, tasteless, gross tea drinks with absolutely awesome graphics on their labels.
The mountain-linked romance of Chai, for me, is simple. There I was, sitting entranced in the front row of a community lecture hall, as Laurie Skreslet, Canada’s first mountaineer to summit Everest, recounted his tale of frozen high-altitude pointless glory. At a break, he reached for his Thermos, a battered and brightly-painted Nepalese enameled-tin cheapo. He smiled at me and said something inane like “Thirsty work, talking”. As he poured, the smell of chai drifted across…30 years later, I still dream of cherishing my very own cheap Nepalese thermos. As Buddha teaches, “The secret to happiness is low expectations.”
Horlics (Malty Goodness!)
This is a new one for me. Kinda like Milo (you know, the wildly popular national drink of The Republic of Tonga), but not as chocolaty. Or as sweet. But, if you don’t know Milo, the preceding sentences are pointless. Call it hot chocolate without the chocolate, and let it go at that.
The two main selling features of Horlicks, for me, are; (1) the fact that it’s made in Dublin and is therefore somehow related to my ancestors x 5-generations removed, and (2) the label that states; “…since 1876, Horlicks has supported explorers on the way to both Poles, nourished soldiers through two World Wars, and fortified athletes in the Olympics.”
Geez! I read that label in the store and …“Sold! To the romantic arm-chair mountaineer dreaming about younger days and tales of high adventure!”
It’s an odd drink. Hot, not too sweet, not very flavourful, but filling. Makes you think you’re drinking weak milk pudding, especially if you add Nido (my favorite Mexican high-fat milk powder, now illegal in Canada!). Sounds gross. Is not gross. I’ll keep experimenting, maybe add Spicy Chai…
Cautionary Note
These drinks have even less of a caffeine jolt than weak ski chalet coffee. Nap time is a serious potential consequence of idly sipping sweet Chai under a tree on the margin of a ski run. Oldest ski patroller hack in the book; always turn your avalanche beacon to “SEARCH” when starting a work-time nap. Any other patroller skiing within 50m will cause your beacon to starting beeping and hopefully wake you in time to seem alert when they arrive. If still bleary-eyed and covered in pine needles from lying under a tree, just stand up, dust yourself off, look them straight in the eye and say, forcefully and disgustedly, “Snowboarders!” No further explanation or elaboration is necessary. If they still look faintly askance or confused, simply say it again, but with emphasis, “Damn snowboarders!” Any patroller with a few years of experience will then nod in wise agreement, and reply, “Yup, ain’t that the truth!”
Enjoy the miracle of your Thermos.
